what are u looking at

My old primary school was located right in the middle of a metropolitan district and we, the kiddies, were given a large chunk of tarred land that was stuck between tall skyscrapers, a busy two way road and the school building itself as a playing ground. Cars would zoom past us, filling the air with obnoxious honks and stale smoke. I didn’t care. We played chase. We ran out lungs out. We screamed. We shrieked. We laughed. The world was my oyster and I couldn’t care less about who was staring at us. I was a kid. Naivety was my best friend. But then things started to change. I started to develop emotional feelings for other people. My body’s physique began to transform and I felt foreign. Maturity was my idol. I attracted more eyes but this time, I was concerned. I would feel self conscious and nervous, wondering whether those who were starting at me were acquaintances or whatever. I didn’t like being judged. I didn’t like the feeling of sets of eyes piercing through my soul, roaming down my body, judging the features of my face and so on. I felt like it was the dirtiest thing in the world. And up til now, I would still feel that way.